Come back when you decide to work harder — come back when you agree to commit yourself to the work you want to do and stop making excuses. I’m tired of all your whining.

Also: stop being so agreeable. You know what your problem is — you fully recognize your limitations and your shortcomings — but you’re spending all your time saying “I know, I know…I must do better…” When it gets so tiring to listen to such crap. Fix it already.

Sit at the desk and work. If your job or your kids are getting in the way, deal with it. If it’s going to be a crutch for you, quit writing. Just quit and save everyone the hassle of having to hear your mouth anymore.

In fact, just quit. I don’t even trust you at this point. You’ll nod your head when you read this and resolve to do better, because you know I’m on to you. It won’t last, though. You’ll do all right for a day or two, then you’ll start the excuses again. You’ll have to clean the office, or the holidays are here. You’ll start on New Year’s. It’s the perfect time for such things. You’ll start writing seriously, SERIOUSLY this time. You’re at a crossroads and THIS IS IT.

Save it. You’re not doing anything like that. Unless you’re willing to start right now and right where you’re sitting (no coffeeshops, no reserving a quiet room at the library) then just quit. You’re finished.

I don’t want to hear about this again.